Unveiling Gentleness

Wrapped in its constancy I ascended the treacherous mountain
A strange feeling lingered.
Careless thoughts began to arise,
Relinquishing vows and severing links from broken Past—
Retribution for misguided sufferings
Vengeful cries shrouded in festering wounds
Be GONE you mischievous fog!
I see you cloaked in shadow’s veil
Luring my vulnerability to hopeless being.

I could just be as you want me
But my body endures and takes each painful step to higher ground.
I know not what lay ahead of this path
And yet the only voice I regard is the sound of my beating heart.

My parched lips stung from dehydration
As I painstakingly breathed in the crisp air
Oh such agony!

Keep on walking I hear.
Keep on walking.
Must keep walking.

Time stretched an eternity when suddenly a force hit me,
I could almost feel the peak being near
Two small steps brought me to a sight unimaginable
As I stood at the broken stones
The unveiling gentleness of the fog lifted before me
And there at last was the sacred tree I longed for.

Here lies my beloved dream.
Memories flooding through
And I remember us once more.

Unlocking ancient memories

I rested my head against the coolness of the rock as I lay wounded from combat.
Slowly I turned to look over my shoulder at my enemy.
He had a deep gash from his left chest running down to his thigh but he was still upright.
I fought even when I had no more strength left in my body,
Only my spirit guiding my movements as I feint and parried his attacks.

I had underestimated my opponent and without a strategy
I had lost a battle that could have been my victory,
for I advanced when I should have first assessed the situation.
Failing to see the trap set before me, I walked into the deception.
In my haste I ignored the wrenching feeling that gripped my heart for I only
Heard the screaming cries from the two women tied on the ground.
I tried to sense the energies around me and noticed their souls take a flight into the darkness.
With my last remaining incantation I set their spirit free from the shackles of my enemy
And passed out.

The last memory I had was my twin flame using his own energy to heal my wounds.
I felt his love and sadness within my soul.
By the time I woke up the world around me had changed once again and my twin flame
Was nowhere to be found but I could feel him come alive stronger than ever.
Did he fight against my enemy, where did he go, and why was his presence so far away…

Blue Diamond

As I stood by the lake my reflection shimmered underneath the crescent moon
A season had come and gone
And I could feel my outer shell being discarded in this time of growth.

In my infinite travels I realised that I only sought my reflection to better understand who I was, Who I am now and who I want to be.
I wanted to visit the places I held dearly
For each passage was ventured with fervour.
My soul whispers close to my heart and speaks of the experiences it wants to learn
And my determination fuelled by forgotten dreams.
The world is my mirror and inside me the universe.

In a crypt lie the hopes once webbed by eternal twin flames.
Their innocence torn by vengeful cries from sleeping wolves
Once they walked the path of equal measure
In their polarities balancing their true nature
A separation allowing growth in their beings
Only to reunite once again and ignite their fire.

I looked up towards the moon and gave thanks for the memories in time.
And I acknowledged I am the blue diamond, the Tanzanite in this realm.
Whether I walk alone my heart still belongs to the man in the black armour.

In your loving memory Natasha

Natasha my love I have not forgotten you.
Three years I know have gone in a blink of an eye and
I just couldn’t come up with the words in which to express myself this time.
I know I have been disappearing once in a while
As I focus on the calling of the Universe.

My spirit has been traveling extensively
And you’ll be happy to know that I am mastering my skills.
I sometimes forget to work on myself but you have seen to that
And I am bombarded with messages linking me back home.
It’s just that there are so many who need help.

I know I cannot do it alone—
and I am ever grateful to meet others who walk alongside me.
I guess I cannot hide who I am anymore,
For as I get closer to another awakening
Others are recognising me from an era left in slumber.

Thank you for visiting me once in a blue moon.
I always learn something new upon your arrival.
I carry your strength within
As this has allowed me to reach out further than ever before.
Your stories will be remembered
As you watch me make our dreams come true.


Sometimes I wonder how much longer I will remain here
For there are moments when my heart would skip a beat—
frozen in its intensity as I gasp for air letting the pain subside
And I am constantly reminded of my mortality with this current vessel.

I know I have been through so many life and death situations
That I lost count to the numbers and chances I am given.
So I want you to know how I feel…

In this lifetime I will complete my mission
And when my last breath awaits me on this earth
I know you will be there as I was with you long ago.
Smile with me Natasha as I make a better world starting with your memory.

Breathe

Sometimes the universe inside my head needs to sit still
To leave my animal instincts behind and just breathe in mother nature.
When I do not move, I slowly arrive in my own equilibrium
And the closer I feel to being home once again.

I used to think that nothing would extinguish the shadow flames of hatred
Locked deep inside the roots of tortured desires,
And I admit I have chased after the supernovae of this realm
To erase the existence of memories stirring.

Yet barely a shimmer of life left in the sky—
did I remember who I was.
From the darkest existence did I remain glowing in blue flames.
Never wavering, forever silent.

Thrown deep within the Hidden Forest of Illusions,
There I was surrounded by the guardians of darkness ready to consume my sacred light;
The fight for me was all I ever known.

That one glint of faith in my spirit had struck at the core of nothingness
And each step I took another minion would befall in front of me.
Slowly I battled what felt like eternity,
And I would stand motionless in between struggles—
All this to keep my light radiating.

For one day is all it takes to just breathe.

Strength

Withered leaves crumble underneath my bare feet
as I clumsily walked through the lush forest.
I could feel each stinging sensation of the thorns
engraving tiny marks all over my body and I moved on
without hesitation.

Lost without a trail in sight and no light to guide my way,
I stopped to momentarily catch my breath.
No sense of direction or landmark to distinguish one tree from another
I turned around and cried for help.
My ears strained to listen for any sounds apart from my own but to no avail
it was only silence that surrounded me.

Turn back...turn back turn back were the words racing through my mind.
Calm down and breathe were the thoughts that followed next.

I allowed my breathing to slow down, to centre my whole being with the universe
and to allow my inner guide to lead me out of this forest.

Slowly and a will full of determination,
I found the paved road leading to a lush valley.
And there I saw once again the light of the sun
embracing my body with warmth.

A new dawn
an everlasting light
a profound sense of hope.

TrUe C o N f E s S i O n S

I'm afraid I'll get hurt again,
that – I will lose control of my emotions,
that – if I trust him he'll use it against me.

Yes, I've been hurt.
Yes, my spirit was destroyed.
Yes, my heart was broken into a million pieces.
Yes, I allowed my soul to scatter throughout the universe.

And yet here I am
Asking the universe for true love
So that I may love myself unconditionally more each day
and when I have stopped searching for myself,
I awaken my spirit once again
and ignite my BLUE FLAME.

I have yet to shine brightly.
I have yet to summon my courage.
I have yet to be unselfish.

Now I let the light through me,
now I let courage fill my lacking,
now I become more giving.

With the world as my mirror
give me the strength to look in the eyes of the man
and--pierce through his soul
and the reflection I long to see be my own.

Addiction

I need L o V e for without it, I am but an empty vessel.

Sometimes I long to know the purest essence of loving unconditionally.
To know that I too, am what you are feeling.
And when it does not happen, a slight pinch occurs in my heart.
An aching so miniscule yet it reverberates all around me.

I cannot pretend that it means nothing.
I cannot lie to myself that I do not need it.
I know that it is only transient in what I am experiencing
and so, I whisper, “I love you,” in silence and depart to the horizon.

Today I learn to love myself more and I know I can be better.
Only when I learn to truly listen to life, will the door open once again.

I am the key.

Full Circle

What I want....

I want to feel the wind in my hair and how the sunlight glistens on my body.
I want the man standing in front of me smiling and his eyes twinkling with mischief.
I want the touch of his hand on my face while his other hand caressing my back firmly.
I want my body to feel electrified just from his stare alone.
I want my heart to race as I try to catch my breath.
I want to feel safe in his arms and as we embrace so tightly, I lose myself in the process.
I want to captivate him as much as he has enchanted me.
I want to feel that aching in my being that this is the man I want to be with for the rest of my life.

Where is he....

I need to stop.
I need to let go and stop searching the world
for in my heart as of this moment
the only person worth searching for is--
ME.

Reflection

Series of thoughts.....

The feeling I am searching for....

is one in which I do not want to miss any more.
Let me close my heart, my eyes, my body, my soul
for when I become nothing, I become everything.

I still yearn in my weakest moments the feeling of being touched to the core.
A soft caress on the nape of my neck from his fingers,
as he slowly runs it down my back.
An embrace filled with so much passion and love
that it pierces through the very centre of my soul.

His eyes staring intensely in mine
and seeing oceans of time passing by.

I can still feel him,
watching, staring, screaming.
In silence he visits in the darkness.
The piercing cries fill my vessel
resonating his pain.

I wake up shivering in cold sweat
shaken and sorrowful I feel.

My guardian once said to me,
watch him closely.
Do not interfere in his awakening.
Let him learn the hard way of rebirth.
The once ragged boy you see will, if he so chooses
turn into the man you see.

So that was when I let him go. I let them all go.
No more shall I want.
I close my eyes again
for when I open them
I look into the mirror and all I see is me.

I stand alone smiling and continue on my journey.